Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
