420 ftw
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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