No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
