Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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