what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
