dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
