Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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