singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
