one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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