I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
