I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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