There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
