At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
this boner is exhausting
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think I sprained my soul last night
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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