i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
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I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
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The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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