Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
