This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
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we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
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I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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