Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
