Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
