Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
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We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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