i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
