lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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