That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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