just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
