Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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