Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
