We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
