piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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