No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
