Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
