Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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