Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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