Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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