No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I had to cum in my sink.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
