hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
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I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
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A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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