my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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