He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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