After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
tonight lets celebrate not being married
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
