im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im holly from the hills drunk
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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