i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
