My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
