I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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