the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize