yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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