And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
