Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
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Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
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I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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