Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
