When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
