some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
