Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
