Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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