You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?