Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Randomize
Follow @tfln