I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
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THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
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Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name