On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds