Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
