Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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