Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
