I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
