well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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