how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
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Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
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i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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