And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
