My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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