she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Green mimosas i think yes
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
